I MISS EVERYBODY
Hello dearest family and friends,
I miss you. I am hoping to catch you up through blog posts and hear back from you! I know I am terrible at phone calls and so this is my attempt to reconnect. Please comment and write me back so I don't cry. :) As you all know, I am pregnant. So that threat to cry is a very real one ;). You wouldn't want to be responsible for making a pregnant woman cry now would you?
I hope you all had some time off and got to do something fun. I took a week off just cause and it was nice but somewhat anticlimactic and now I am back at work. Well actually I am blogging so how much work could I really be doing :)
I am six months pregnant and I feel like I can't breathe sometimes. That is probably normal (because no matter how many unique and weird complaints I make someone always tells me that it is normal) but I think maybe I just have a really big belly. My mother and aunt have each asked me a few times if I am SURE I am not having twins. At this point I feel like it would be very weird for an entire second baby to be hiding on the ultrasound, so that just leaves the alternative, I am pregnancy fat. I mean I know when you are pregnant you are supposed to get big but asking someone who is pregnant if they are having twins is like the equivalent of asking a non pregnant person if they are pregnant. At least it is in my book. I will post a picture of myself here tomorrow for your enjoyment. I ain't going to lie it will probably be a more flattering picture. But either way, please don't ask about multiples. One baby girl is the plan for now :).
As excited as I am to be having a baby, I must say pregancy is just not my cup of tea. I feel guilty every time I think/say this but it is the truth. I told this lady at work this and she looked VERY taken aback which made me feel even more weirdo-ish. I mean first disgusting terrible terrifying misery making nausea, and then now discomfort and fatigue? I could make this list a lot longer but I will spare you dear readers. But seriously, WHAT IS THERE TO LIKE???? What am I missing? Ok it is super miraculous amazing that there is a baby inside of me and I do like Zagum waiting on me :) but that is not enough to compensate for spending a whole year being what I have dubbed inside my head as 'hormonella.' That is who I am. My whole body, brain, emotions, well being have been taken over by hormones.
I seriously feel sometimes like I am missing out on some quintessential feminine secret because I don't enjoy pregnancy. Like I should have an angelic glow and amazing breathless wonder that at least comes in the second trimester right? NOPE. I am hoping motherhood brings more positives because now I am worried about that too. I mean if pregnancy has been a let down (to say the least) then what is motherhood going to be like???
I have this 13 girl in my practice who is pregnant, about one month ahead of me. Of course she was like a quarter of my size to start with but she is in her third trimester and has gained like 7 pounds (yes I sound jealous of a 13 y/o girl for being skinny even though her life now sucks that she is pregnant. I am a bad person.) Let me just put some perspective on this. I think I gained 7 pounds by the time I was 8 weeks pregannt.
Sometimes I look at her and wonder, maybe part of the problem is that we were made to get pregnant in our teens and I am getting pregnant in my 30s which is just not what my body really is primed for. I mean I know we think of the 30s as young but in fertility years, it is really kind of old.
And on that positive note, I should pretend to go work now. I really miss each of you very very much.
Love
Frieda
I miss you. I am hoping to catch you up through blog posts and hear back from you! I know I am terrible at phone calls and so this is my attempt to reconnect. Please comment and write me back so I don't cry. :) As you all know, I am pregnant. So that threat to cry is a very real one ;). You wouldn't want to be responsible for making a pregnant woman cry now would you?
I hope you all had some time off and got to do something fun. I took a week off just cause and it was nice but somewhat anticlimactic and now I am back at work. Well actually I am blogging so how much work could I really be doing :)
I am six months pregnant and I feel like I can't breathe sometimes. That is probably normal (because no matter how many unique and weird complaints I make someone always tells me that it is normal) but I think maybe I just have a really big belly. My mother and aunt have each asked me a few times if I am SURE I am not having twins. At this point I feel like it would be very weird for an entire second baby to be hiding on the ultrasound, so that just leaves the alternative, I am pregnancy fat. I mean I know when you are pregnant you are supposed to get big but asking someone who is pregnant if they are having twins is like the equivalent of asking a non pregnant person if they are pregnant. At least it is in my book. I will post a picture of myself here tomorrow for your enjoyment. I ain't going to lie it will probably be a more flattering picture. But either way, please don't ask about multiples. One baby girl is the plan for now :).
As excited as I am to be having a baby, I must say pregancy is just not my cup of tea. I feel guilty every time I think/say this but it is the truth. I told this lady at work this and she looked VERY taken aback which made me feel even more weirdo-ish. I mean first disgusting terrible terrifying misery making nausea, and then now discomfort and fatigue? I could make this list a lot longer but I will spare you dear readers. But seriously, WHAT IS THERE TO LIKE???? What am I missing? Ok it is super miraculous amazing that there is a baby inside of me and I do like Zagum waiting on me :) but that is not enough to compensate for spending a whole year being what I have dubbed inside my head as 'hormonella.' That is who I am. My whole body, brain, emotions, well being have been taken over by hormones.
I seriously feel sometimes like I am missing out on some quintessential feminine secret because I don't enjoy pregnancy. Like I should have an angelic glow and amazing breathless wonder that at least comes in the second trimester right? NOPE. I am hoping motherhood brings more positives because now I am worried about that too. I mean if pregnancy has been a let down (to say the least) then what is motherhood going to be like???
I have this 13 girl in my practice who is pregnant, about one month ahead of me. Of course she was like a quarter of my size to start with but she is in her third trimester and has gained like 7 pounds (yes I sound jealous of a 13 y/o girl for being skinny even though her life now sucks that she is pregnant. I am a bad person.) Let me just put some perspective on this. I think I gained 7 pounds by the time I was 8 weeks pregannt.
Sometimes I look at her and wonder, maybe part of the problem is that we were made to get pregnant in our teens and I am getting pregnant in my 30s which is just not what my body really is primed for. I mean I know we think of the 30s as young but in fertility years, it is really kind of old.
And on that positive note, I should pretend to go work now. I really miss each of you very very much.
Love
Frieda
posted by Frieda at 7:47 AM
6 Comments:
Don't feel bad. I think it was only recently that I could fathom even thinking about maybe having another child sometime in the future. But, as long as you realize that a lot of people feel that way, it helps you get through it and realize that you're not the devil. Being pregnant and having a newborn are not easy. But, I promise you that there are many moments in the chaos that make it worthwhile. It really is amazing to see your child for the first time.
Also, I think the women that respond to your complaints about pregnancy with their stories of how wonderful it was are full of horse poo poo and annoy me.
Hey girly girl,
It's so completely normal to be miserable while you're pregnant, to feel like you can't breathe, can't eat, can't sleep, everything hurts, everything else feels like it's going to fall out of your body, and why does everyone else seem to have such easy, beautiful pregnancies?!? So normal. You have no reason to feel guilty because, yes, pregnancy sucks. And people rarely talk about how much their pregnancy sucks, but for 95% of my patients, it does! The key is to focus on you feeling as well and healthy as you can and to not compare yourself to those around you because then you fall into that trap that all women are so guilty of.
Love you and miss you dearly!!
Hey Frieda- I had many of your same concerns about having kids,how I was going to feel about them, and I was definitely not a happy comfortable pregnant person! You will love your baby girl immediately and more than you can even believe right now. You will be a GREAT mother, I promise. Your experiences are very normal and you are doing fantastic!
I miss you as well-
Elizabeth
Hana-thank you... It does help to hear you say that. And I will hold you to your promise. I particularly like your horse poo poo statement, I can hear you saying that out loud!
Gigi-I guess you see a lot of pregnant women, huh? It really helps to hear that most of your patients feel that way!!!! I know it is easy to compare :(.
Liz - I don't even know how you did twins!! Thank you for the vote of confidence it means a lot.
MISS YOU ALL.
FOOFOO! I love this post :)) So Aziz Ansari has a cup of tea joke where he is like "blah blah" is not my cup of tea. I DON'T WANT BLAH BLAH IN MY TEA. SO fifi, ain't nobody want a baby in their tea.
Also your ponderings about the 13 y/o girl: Mama had me when she was 39 and I think I turned out just fine :)))
Also fifi you're going to be an amazing mother isA. I'm so not even concerned.
I miss you a lot. You have a surprise on your way in the mail.
LOOOVE,
Doha
Doha - I feel slightly guilt after reading this wonderful comment for my newest post. But only slightly ;)
CAN'T WAIT FOR SURPRISE!!!!
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